Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

your mommas so stupid she tried to climb mountain dew well im glad your mom is intrested in trying new things

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man and a cucumber walk into a bar. They sit three seats away from each other and intermediately give nervous looks to one another. Finally the man stands up and declares "I hate bar jokes" and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar later at night & the bartender says how was your day the man replies "well I found out my mom is a raging crack addict, my grampa has alzheimer's & i have terminal cancer" how was yours the bartender says "I found out im Hitlers lost son".

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Three examples of how santa is gay 1) he says HO HO HO 2) he sneaks into your house at night from going down the chimney 3) he knows when u r sleeping and he knows when u r awake BONUS............. Better not pout, you better not cry, better watch out im telling u why.........SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the Muslim man burn the American flag? The flag had touched the ground, which, by tradition, means it has to be disposed. And the proper way of disposing it is by burning.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock I'M IN THE BATHROOM !!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why are ginger's jokes not funny? Because they're gingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is worse than losing your phone charger... Being viciously raped by a group of angry vegans feminist mad at you for eating a burger, while walking out of Hooters.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops