A man walks into a bar. His family has died in a tragic accident and he is trying to drink down the pain.

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Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

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whats worse than dropping your toast butter side down ? being ripped apart from the anus upwards by a large black man

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what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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What do u call Lindsay Lohan fall from grace? Probably likely tragic and is also a very useful metaphor for The USA's projected path for global and economic superiority.

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Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

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Whats the diffetance between a river and a waterfall? One is vertical!??

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hes climbing in your window, hes snatching your people up. Hes a fireman.

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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Thats the magic of Moral Man, I do not make people my bitches, they curl up and do it all for me. Moral: HEEEEEY BITCHEEEEEES! WAZZAAAAP!

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A white guy and a black guy are sitting in a bar. The white guy apologizes to the black guy for the hundreds of years of slavery endured by his people.

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why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

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What did the robot say to the boy? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and started to strangle the boy. The authorities tried to get the robot to stop but robots are too strong. When the robot had killed the boy, it self destructed.

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One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

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whats white jizz

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Guest what in the butt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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