Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

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What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

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Man #1:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: I don't know Man #1: Because he died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Because he died? Man #1: Yep. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Really? Come on, I've already answered your stupid question. Man #1: JUST ANSWER! Man #2: Fine, because he died. Man #1: No, peer pressure. Duh. Man #2 promplty punches Man #1 in the face and continues about his buisness.

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Where's the best place to gather black people to roleplay as prison victims for a documentary? Prison or the Graveyard.

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Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

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Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

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How many rich men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, to hire an electrician to do it for him.

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Frontbut-

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What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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Two guys walk into a bar, have a good time, and exit the bar, relatively sober. They are driven home by a friend who agreed to be the designated drive for safety purposes and enjoy the rest of the evening with their wives, to whom they are happily married. Then the joke ends abruptly.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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Dumbledore dies.

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why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

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What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

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Why couldn't the white guy tell the two asians apart? They were identical twins.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

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What's worse than an arrow to the knee? -A bullet in the head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops