- Anti Joke

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

what's worse than stubbing your toe? 9/11

Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

Q: what do you call a much green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

I do like haikus even when they are random refrigerator

Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

Yo mamma is so dumb, she bought a Wii and was satisfied with her purchase

Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

A man walks into a bar. He gets drunk, goes home, and beats his wife and kids.