What did one tampon say to another? Nothing they were both stuck up.

Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? ... Well, do you know or not?

roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

Why did the chicken cro- Oh. He got run over.

What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

A paralyzed guy walks into a bar... Oh wait, he can't.

Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

David entered a radio contest to see who had the best pun; his pun was insufficient and he did not win.

Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

Where will you be in twenty years? Celebrating the twentieth anniversary of reading this question... unless you're older than 60, which by modern life expectancy, you'd be dead.

A black man is running down the street with a purse in his hand. He was trying to catch up to the old woman who forgot it at the restaurant. She was very grateful.

whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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