roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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Yo mama is so stupid... She didn't graduate high school.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A zebra that was shot by poachers.

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How do you know what to order at a Creole restaurant? Ask the waiter, they are usually familiar enough with the menu to make an educated recommendation.

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Robert Dupra getting a girlfriend.

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Man one: Why does the moon look like a face? Man two: I don't know, why? Man one: I don't know either, that's why i asked....

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how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

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Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

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Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock, knock Who's there? Lemon Lemon who? Lemon know if you want me to say apple again

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A man walks into a boar. The tusked beast accepts his apology.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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What did the guy say to the girl when she was on her knees? Stop playing with it put it in your mouth

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Non-Anti-Joke.com!

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So a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" It proceeds to then crap on the floor and walk out,because its a horse.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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Why did Sally fall out of the tree? Because She had no arms or legs... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Knock-Knock? Who's There? Not Sally

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Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road??? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

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Why wasn't the Asian at work? Because the sweat shop was closed on Sundays...

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

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What's white and black? Color blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops