Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

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What did the man say when he saw Niagra falls? Nothing, he was blind.

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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What do you call 100 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A weird kind of genocide.

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What's up with airplane food? Not sure, but last flight I was on they didn't serve any food. It could have been because it was too short of a flight or perhaps the recessed economy caused jetliners to cut costs. Either way, I didn't get a bag of peanuts.

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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Some potential names for Justin Beiber's next album: Headache Wailing and Screaming Eardrum Rapist Anger Half Price Indescribable Out of Print April Fools The Sounds of Hell Torture Ear Basher

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did you hear about the fly on the toilet? i heard he got pissed off!

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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What's worst than the finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worst than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Finding seven dead babies in a trash can. What's worst than that? Finding one dead baby in seven trash cans.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Get in the car."

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

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roses are red violets are blue pornhub is down ya mums facebook will do

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"Hey, did you hear that the Dungbeetles got a divorce? They live in California so she got half his shit."

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Q.Why was the fat man sweeting A. Because he just ran and his body is trying to maintain thermal equilibrium

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Whats black and white and red all over? A dead zebra

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops