How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

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What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

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A black man and a Mexican were in a car. Who was driving? The cop.

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Knock Knock [Opens Door]

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Canadians

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Why is Suzie at the bottom of the cliff? Because I pushed her. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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What is 6 1/2 inches when erected? My penis.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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A gay man kisses a gay man and therefore is considered gay.

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What did the Apostle John say to Jesus of Nazareth? "Oh, blow it out your butthole."

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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What do you call five gay men walking in the same direction? I don't know the usual human does not take note of such circumstance.

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What do black people and bananas have in common? 50% of their DNA

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What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

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what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

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So a guy gets drunk and walks into a gay bar by accident He then yells I LOVE PENIS!!!!! everyone yells oh yeaaaaaaaaaa

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What do democrats and fire have in common? They both do damage

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What did john say to bob Hey bob

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Smith.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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