How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

What is the least funny thing in the world? This joke.

What has nine arms and sucks? Four children with two arms snacking on a lollipop, and one child with one arm snacking on a lollipop.

what is sticky and brown a black guys stick

Whats bent but straight for danielle? Joseph Plummer

A Matthew walks into a room. Everyone left. This is not a joke

You are as dumb as a dumb looking person.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, wanna f***.

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

A cow and a goat are at the top of a hill. The cow starts to eat the grass, and the goat says, "Hey! That's mine!"

Why couldn't Billy eat his dinner? Because a black man amputated his hands.

Why did Sally cross the road? Because she fell off a tree. Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally wanted to cross the road.

Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? She's dead.

What do you get from M&M bags? M&Ms.

What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? A holocaust in which all the Jews are raped by giant scorpions, and then killed.

What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? ProtestS from Anti GM activists.

Have you see stevie wonders house? No. Neither has he.

What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

I have alzheimers and one day me and my nephew were............................

If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

autistic kids rock

What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

Why was Blue looking for her clue. She was drugged by a stranger and ended up inside of Mailbox.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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