roses are read violets are blue my fanny is orange I have the flu my name is gemma

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was tired of hearing that joke

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Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

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Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

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Did you hear about the Asian boy that entered the piano competition? He died yesterday.

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A man walked into a room and said to his friend, "I am about to show you something amazing." He claps twice and the lights turn on. He is using a device called The Clapper made by Joseph Enterprises, Inc. using advanced technology that was patented in 1985.

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How does Moses like his tea? Hebrews it.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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What do you call a kid with leukemia and no arms? Names.

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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Badabing.

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If I was trapped in a closet with you and a bear, and I only had two bullets, I would shoot you twice!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a wanted serial killer on the run from the police

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There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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what do u call an elephant in a car? nothing elephants cant fit in cars

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Click here for free sandwich.

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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What did the ant do? I don't care you whore

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops