So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A muslim, a jew, and a black man jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? They all hit the ground at the same time because gravity pulls all objects at the same rate regardless of their mass.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I have read and agreed to the terms of service

thumb_up thumb_down -11

black chicken. kfc

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I love you more than other things that are significantly less important to me than you are

thumb_up thumb_down -11

The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

"Knock knock" Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's brown and sticky? Most forms of excrement.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? I DON'T have a Corvette in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Nothing exceedingly odd happened at a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac that stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daffodils are yellow, Flowers come in lots of colours...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If I was in a room with Osama bin laden and george bush, and my friend. And I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot my friend twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats black and white and red all over? A dead zebra

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is worse than throwing your baby in the river? Letting Moses out of Egypt

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did mallisa get to go to the bar instead of jeremy... jeremy has prostate cancer and he needs to be examined every 2 1/2 minuites plus he's 7 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your Mamma So Fat The Old Thing That Block's Her From Destroying Kid's Party's Is The Front Door

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops