What do call a man with a daranged wife? Married

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Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

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Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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why was the little boy crying? He had dead mice shoved up his asshole.

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What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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why did the car go to the bathroom? it had gas.

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What did man who had diarrhea say to the other man? "I have to go to the toilet."

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? Well, the difference is quite obvious. one's a car, the other's a dead baby.

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

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Why did the pedophile go to the park? He lost his dog.

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Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

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batman farted so hes retarded

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Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, but she had anal hemorrhaging so it really hurt

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How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops