one time, a fancy business man walked into a bar. but then he figured out that he wasnt supposed to be there. so he politely apologized to the mortician an and he granted him permission to exit the closet.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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i am a dino. RAWR.

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A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

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Ask me if I'm a tree? Are you a tree? No.

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

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Your mother is so fat, she appeals to my secret fetish.

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Q: What's the best way to satisfy your hunger A: Eat

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

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Q: Buttsex? A: Butsex!

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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Knock knock.. Who's there? Breaking. Breaking who? Im breaking up with you.

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Why did the middle age man walk across the street? There were no vehicles currently driving on that particular road

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What did the previously pregnant teen flush down the toilet? Her beloved pet goldfish who recently died. She had already given birth to a healthy baby the previous year.

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Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

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Whats worse than it raining on your birthday? 911

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What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

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Why did the young boy die from Aggressive cancer? ...Because there isn't a cure.

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What do u get when u lick chicken Answer- Your a retard if you did not figure it out it is obviously chicken taste DERP!

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What did little Ben's mom give him for Christmas? Nothing. She died last month

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Why is Obama Care a lie? Cuz he doesn't care!

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Why should you be concerned if you see a black midget with no arms and no legs falling off a building? He might get hurt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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