What did one cat say to the other cat? --------- Meow --------- What's pink and fluffy? --------- Pink fluff --------- What's green and yellow? --------- Grass. I lied about the yellow part.

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What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

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i went to the bar. soon after i entered the bar i got kicked out. why? becuase i'm seventeen.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What's red and can sing? Elmo

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Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

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What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

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Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

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What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

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knock knock Dave's not here.

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A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

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they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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What does "Fiat" stand for? "Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino."

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops