What do you get from M&M bags? M&Ms.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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One day a duck was swimming on the lake and sees an alligator. The alligator says "You will be my next victim." The duck says "Quack."

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Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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What did santa claus get the boy with cancer for christmas? Nothing. Santa is not real and thus incapable of granting christmas wishes.

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Why is there a rock in a boy's foot? He wasn't weraing shoes.

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A victim of an alcohol related car accident

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Knock Knock Who's there

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Why did the man get in a car accident? Because he was blind.

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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what lies in ore an develops a golden tan ken bigleys body

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Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He wanted to live a better life in pursuit of freedom and a better job.

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How does a printer work? You plug it in.

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How can you tell the difference between a black guy and a white guy? skin color

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Why did the man punch NUGE in the face? Because he got angry that NUGE was being such a BA person and he was jealous of NUGE'S style and he just got dumped by his ugly as poop mom which was eating Anti Chicken.

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How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

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A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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Paul was mowing his lawn when he felt a bump. It turned out it was a bunny. Paul felt bad but the bunny felt worse

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops