- Anti Joke

What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

What do you call a black airline pilot? An airline pilot.

What's worse than spending time with Inlaws? Spending time with outlaws.

Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

Whats 1 foot long and went in and out of my girlfriend? Our new baby

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

Why can't Stuart post a joke? Because he is using a giant iphone

what do you call a black chef glendon

Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

A man walks into a bar He orders a beer, drinks the beer, then leaves.

Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb