Whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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An animal entered my house tonight ! It could only be one thing : A bear or a dog.

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want more?

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Q: Men are always very careful to have penises. Why don't women care enough to have them? A: That's a very good question.

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What do you call a Koala bear that does not have a chin? A Koala bear.

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Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

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America needs to burn Less fossil fuels to save the environment

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Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing???? she had down syndrome

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roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

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what do you call a sexy feminist? nothing, there are none

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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Jesus hates you this I know, because Buddha told me soo.

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What do call a man with no arms or no legs that sits on the couch? Grandpa after his amputations.

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A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

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What's black and white and red all over? A Nazi banner.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because blind people aren't allowed to drive in the United States.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he'd like. The man says something funny, but you kinda had to be there.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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What do you call a dog with 3 legs? Just because it has 3 legs dosnt mean you have to call it anything different

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What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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Why did The Chicken cross The Road? The Chicken was a new drug dealer to town and he did a deal with The Road , the town's existing drug dealer (they used these nicknames to hide their identities), but then back stabbed him to try and take the whole area for himself. Money and Power, as always.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops