whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

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What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

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North Korea is red. Amerika is blue. But they both split blood. All over you

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when placing the bolt in the side of the metal rememb............ shit wrong book ........................................................................

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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"Jim would you like to share what you've written?" says rehab counselor "Roses are red, Violets are blue, Heroin is bad, I see sound."

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Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

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what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

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A apple a day is good for your overall health and you should schedule check ups with your doctor to maintain good health and avoid seeing him everyday.

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What would you say if you girlfriend got hit by a train? Trick question, trains don't go through kitchens!

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There was 3 guys. A mexican, a black guy, and a jew. They work at a construction site and one day they found what appears to be a magic lamp. The mexican guy rubs the lamp hoping for a genie to appear and grant them wishes. Sure enough a genie appears. "I have been freed from the magic lamp." Says the genie "I shall grant one wish and one wish only to whoever rubbed the magic lamp." The mexican guy did not understand english. The jew steals the lamp and the black guy stabs him. The next day a blonde goes to the crime scene. He spot the magic lamp on the floor, picks it up, and rubs it. The genie appears. "I have been freed from the lamp. I shall grant one wish and one wish only to whoever rubbed the magic lamp." The blonde says "I wish Jose could speak ad understand english." Suddenly, the mexican appears and says "Thank you."

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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Why didn't the Alzheimers patient put on her shoes? She didn't leave the elderly home that day, thus taking away the need to put on shoes.

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Why did the black man go to hospital? To cure his black.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in face! Why didn't she get back up? Because she didn't have any friends!

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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Q:Whats yellow and on the floor in the bathroom? A: A Rubber Ducky

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's usually in a good mood.

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Your mom went to college

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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What's the simularity between a eagle and a rock? They both fly, exept for the rock.

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If you were a cactus, why?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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