i hate non minorities!

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Why are gay guys so good at being gay? The black guys told them too.

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a bag of dead babies? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

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Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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A man walks into bar carrying a nondescript glass bottle of beer. The bartender speaks up in a harsh tone "We don't allow outside drink here buddy! If you're drinking here, you're buying it from here! The man replies, "Oh I'm sorry, it's just that this isn't a normal beer. Every time you take a swig from it, you are granted one wish!" The bartender, who is at this point getting visibly irritated, "I ain't got no time for fairy tales. Screw off!" The man seemingly unfazed by this anger tells him, "I'm not any kind of liar. I have three sips left. You can have them if you want." The bartender snatches the bottle with his unwashed hands from the man. "Fine" he says gruffly "I'll drink your magic beer." He thinks for a brief minute and says to himself, "I wish I had an expensive sports car." and takes a drink from the bottle. No later then a second later, a Ferrari pulls up into the driveway. It is a sleek and dark red color. It was of the latest model and did not have a single scratch whatsoever. The bartender's eyes pop wide open in astonishment and he quickly makes his second wish, "I wish I had a beautiful girlfriend!". And he took another drink. No later than five seconds, A leggy 5'7 blonde bombshell steps out of the entrance. She dons a short white skirt, Long red stiletto heels and a jet black spaghetti strap top. The bartender starts to sweat and looks a little nervous. "And my final wi-EUGHAAAHGGHHH!" The bartender collapses from the floor drooling from the mouth. It turns out that the liquor he was drinking was 180-proof alcohol that his old liver could not take. The blonde woman steps back and lets out a disgusting shriek. "Ewww, this old ugly hobo just ODed on the floor. Can we go somewhere else for drinks Jeremy?" Her boyfriend replies, "Yeah good idea babe. This place looks a trash heap anyway. You deserve better." The couple do not hesitate in stepping into their sleek red Ferrari and driving off. The man who had given the bartender the beer proceeded to check the dead man's pockets and rob it of all of it's contents. Nobody ever caught the man, and not a single person in the bar cared enough about the bartender to call 911. Moral of the story: Magic does not exist and life sucks.

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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Women deserve equal rights.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

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Who found Anne Frank? The Nazis

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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the sky is green no it is not

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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