Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?  Getting raped by a 10 foot scorpion.

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How do you get a single-armed monkey down from a tree? Wave.

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How come Asian's are so clever? Their baby food is blended textbook paste.

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I Couldn't afford a hair cut... so i purpposely contracted HIV

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Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

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A depressed horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "Millions of years of natural selection." The horse then tries to drink away his sorrows, but the alcohol is only a temporary release from the pain he's feeling. He kills himself the next day.

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Why was a woman not considered in the role for a stunt driver? Because her skill level was not sufficient enough for the requirements.

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Okay, this is a real joke: A guy slips on a banana and falls down in the most funny way ever, so a girl nearby starts laughing when she suddenly realizes the guy is bleeding profoundly, so she runs over to help, but it turns out the blood was just ketchup so... Just then they both got run over and killed by a car.

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Uh Oh you just fell, So, So I've got one thing to say to you, And what's that Don't fall it gets you down!!!!!!!!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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What happened at the 21 year old's birthday? She tried alcohol for the first time. She partied. She danced, She's dead. Open case.

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knock knock, whos there? the bum bum boys ready to dance :) ``~ ``sms

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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Why did Superman cross the road? I dunno.

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Why did the White man scream when he saw a Black man? Because he was scared.

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*knock knock* i have diarrhea

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Are you 9/11 because i would like you to destroy my tower.

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What is worse than getting hit by a bus? 9/11

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

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What did the astronaut say when he stepped on the moon? Oops, sorry.

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I'm a psychic. Don't believe me? Think of any number between 1 and 20. Got it? Your number is 17. Please comment if I got it right

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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