Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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The cast of the 'Jersey Shore' is the worst thing to happen to the Jersey shore

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari. I don't have a ferrari in my garage

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Roses are red, violets are blue, twilight is gay and Justi Bieber too.

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A woman walked into a college.....which wasn't suprising because she never learned to read

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your mom is so fat she is at high risk of a future heart attack and should be taken to a cardiologist

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How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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Q. What did the monkey say to his little brother? A. Nothing. Monkeys are physically incapable of speaking, therefore it is impossible for them to communicate using the human language.

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Okay.

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Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We are both lawyers.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Fed-Ex, here's your new brother.

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Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

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have you ever had african food? neither have they

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Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

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Three men walk in to a bar, One ducked

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whats the difference between a black man and a cat? you dont run from a cat

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a white man, an asian man, and a mexican man are on a plane and they realize how inefficient the airline was in filling the flight, seeing as there were only three men on board.

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Whats the difference between a house and a mouse If you think about it , quite a lot really

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Neo Nero, why did you not tell me that Nero7 is dead? When was the funeral held? Where is he buried? At point Zero? Please I need to know, he was basically my father, or rather all that my father never was, at least I dont have to wonder if he will ever come back... I understand your anger, even if I am not even close to following your extreme ideals, please tell me the code, the proof that you are not one of the Spetznas or the Nazi`s. "Eliza"

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Ferrari? That was my Ferrari by darragh hamilton

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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