I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

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When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

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A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line. "You must be single." the clerk says. Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?". "Because you're ugly".

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pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop

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what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

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What did the cake say to the icing? Come here

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Why couldn't the woman drive? She was dead.

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Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

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the anti-joke.com joke was just like a normal joke. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

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What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

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How many elbows does a Jew have? 2

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What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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a chicken and a rooster walk into a bar. and then walk out because a bar is no place for a chicken and a rooster.

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2 black guys, a colombian guy and a white girl are sitting at a bar. They are friends.

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Q. What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? A. I don't were cleats when I jump on my trampoline.

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like your mom Give me some glue

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what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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What did the alcoholic Indian do? Continued to drink and further worsen his people's stereotype.

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I dyed my armpit hair blue yesterday because I wanted to start a new trend. My boyfriend later broke up with me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops