you see theres this guy.

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What should you do if a stranger picks you up? Politely request that he put you down.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Douse it in gas and throw it in a fire

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Why did the referee go to the zoo? He likes animals

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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baloney sandwich

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Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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Why did the fat guy ride his camel to the grocery store? Because he didn't want to walk to the grocery store

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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Why wasn't cacto at school that day. Because Silas gave him extreme butthole aids.

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When life gives you lemons, you go to a therapist and seek help because your dementia has progressed to the point that you are seeing and feeling illusions.

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Geography Teacher: What caused the earthquake of Japan? Me: Godzilla constipated too hard, and it caused an earthquake. Tsunami was the result of his poo. Geography Teacher: then how do you explain the after shocks...? Me: Godzilla shat his pants after the toilet

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Boy: Hey girl, the voices in my head tole me to come over and talk to you. Girl: ... *walks away*

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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I can't believe they been together for 16 years!! Who? Deez Nutz!

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Two ladies are walking down a road. One says, "It's freezing out here!" and then the other woman, who is a scientist, says "No it's not freezing. The freezing point of oxygen is -365.82 degrees F. So, unless it is actually that temperature outdoors, I highly doubt that it is freezing outside."

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

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Roses are red Grass is greener I think of you when I play with my weiner

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Whats whats black, yellow, wnd green all over? The Jamacain flag

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A black man walks into a KFC. He buys a bucket of chicken, then distributes it to several homeless men he supports off of his meager income because he knows their situations are much worse than his.

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what did the Nazi say to the Jew? I hate you

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Why is Texas so hot? The sun

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when u cant say fuck say firetruck because it starts with f and it ends with uck ?firetruck?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops