Oh you're dating my ex? Do you want my unfinished sandwhich too? And my old shoes? And a couple of my shirts I don't wear anymore? How about a my toys I used to play with? Or my spoiled pickle that's been in my car for about a year and a half after I went to the mall with my friends, we watched a movie, I don't remember which one it was but it was funny, then after that we went to McDonald's and it was the first time I heard of McGangbang and it was pretty good. After that I think we went to Jerry's cousin's house, he was a cool guy until I found out that he likes Tyga, so I ended up never talking to him again.... I went off topic, sorry

a kid says, "where are you from?" other kid says "my mom"

The black man at the narcotics anonymous meeting said, "oh, this isn't bingo is it?" then walked out of the room feeling mildly embarassed.

John's life hasn't been the same since committing suicide 13 years ago.

what does the sloth say to Jonah reincastle? nothing Jonah is the sloth

Why did nobody like Anne? She was disabled

Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

Why did the man have no head? It was blown off in Iraq 2 and days ago

A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

A guy has spikey things in his butt, what happened?............... He fell on a cactus.

whats black, then white, then dead all over? Michael jackson

An American, a Mexican and a Cuban are in a car. For they are heading to the store to buy groceries and then come home to make dinner.

What do you call a black person flying an airplane? The pilot.

I am a mime

"What starts with an 'F' and ends with 'uck'?" "I don't know, what?" "'Firetruck.'"

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...