A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Harry thrust his wand forward, "Expelliarmus!" Voldemort casually ducks, and fires a killing curse at our hero.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Roses are red Violets are blue Your window is open I'm watching you

thumb_up thumb_down +56

What's the worse part about a Jewish man dying in a house fire? It was his birthday

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a blender? A: None. It is a sick and depraved act that is probably illegal anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What do you call a man who rides on unicorns? A liar. Unicorns don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What is the difference between 1 and 2? 2 is a higher number than 1.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Who's on first? Garvey.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why did the chicken cross the road? An even better question is why are the chicken morals being questioned every time it feels like doing something.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Ask me if i'm a fish. Are you a fish? Do I look like a fish?

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A dyslexic atheist stays up at night wondering if there is a Dog

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Q: How do you confuse a blonde. A: Put her in a circular room and tell her to pee in the corner. Q: How does a blonde confuse you? A: She says she's done.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What is a waste of time and money? Your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear turns to the rabbit and says "I have colon cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +42

When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

The man that loved birds so much that he played golf just to get a birdie.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Your mom is so fat That the salesman advised her not to buy the tight dress

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did Bill fall out if his chair? He was hit by an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops