When does 1+1=3? When the condom fails.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To reach his desired destination.

wat did one chicken say to the other bock bock

A man bought a white van, He later brutally molested a small boy.

what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

What more orange that a lime? Most things.

SUCK MY 29 AND A HALF FOOT LONG DICK BITCH JUST KIDDING............ IT IS 69 FEET LONG GIGADY

What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

What does an Eagle and a Mole have in common? The are both of the kingdom Animalia, possessing many organ systems and cellular similarities. And they both live underground. Except for the Eagle.

Why couldn't the boy in the wheelchair sue the man making fun of him? Because he couldn't get up the stairs to court.

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

Why didnt the 14 year old get her period? Because she had gotten pregnant by her father

Guy: do u wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah its to long Girl: Do u wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Actually that would make me very self concious I have ghonorrea and would appreciate not having to tell one.

Why are Mexicans so good at jumping, swimming and running? They aren't. You're just racist.

why did the boy drop his bus because he was hit by an ice cream

Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you smoke, the blacker your lungs get.

How do you keep a black man from hanging around your tree? You cut the rope.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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