My dog barks when someones at the door.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was stapled to the head of a penis that belonged to an asian man

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits

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The only time when white and black are together When I've just taken a shit! ?ttis

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life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stoplight turned green

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How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

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What have in common a recently born baby and a quadriplegic blonde person? Both have legs but they cant walk

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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What can fly, but is always under you? A flying worm.

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How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

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What's brown and rhymes with poop? Dr. Dre.

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How can you tell if someone is a virgin? Everyone is a virgin in something. For example, if you never had sex with a dinosaur, then you are a virgin at dinosaur sex.

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Why did the dish run away from the spoon? None of them ran neither one has legs

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Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

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why did the chicken cross the street? so it could throw a fridge at you, you are very loud at night for some reason and you wake everyone up. the chicken then goes home to watch gay porn videos.

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what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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why was the child crying? because his friend just got hit by a van.

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Why did the boy not eat his ice cream? He was addicted to self afflicting. The blood from one of his newer slashes oozed out on the cone which being wafer slowly got soggy. At this point the ice cream slid out of the cone as it was soggy and as he went to eat it, he found an abssence of ice cream. After this unprecedented occurance he gave up with his self harming, so all was good.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw some pandas spooning.

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What's the best thing about 23 year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops