Why was the black man afraid of leaving his house? Because he has severe agoraphobia and cannot function normally in society.

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What is the first thing you should do when a person is choking? Make sure the person is choking How can you tell if a person is choking? If he's going like this: aaghh gaghhg agghhh gaghhhhh ghghaghghgh

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I was in the 74th hunger games I hid in the cornucopia until almost everyone was dead. Then I saw Katniss and Peeta so while they were distracted with night lock I pulled a rubber chicken out of my ass and beat the shit out of them till they died then I won the 75th hunger game also. They asked me to be there mocking jay but I killed them all and blew the plane up in the Capitol the end. By Adam Chebali

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why did the man french kiss the horse? because he was high on l.s.d and confused the horse for an attractive male because he himself was homosexual ps vagina monkeys and chili

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What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

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How many chickens does it take to cross the road? It only takes 1 chicken to cross the road. You don't need a lot.

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What do you call somebody who votes for Donald Trump? A voter. What do you call somebody who votes for Hillary Clinton? A voter.

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What's black and white and red all over? Half of a zebra.

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what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

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Why did the little girl fall to death? Because pigs can't fly. It's impossible.

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What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

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Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

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What do Jews and gays have in common? They both would have been killed during the Holocaust.

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why couldn't the girl sit down? she didn't have a butt.

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What do you call a doctor without a head? Deceased

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your mamma so dumb she makes frankienstien look smart

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A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

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why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

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whats funner than nailing a baby to a wall, ripping it off

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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Q: Why did the grandma forget to take her pills? A: She died in a tornado

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Your momma so fat that she went to the doctor and he told he to cut down on the junk food because she weighs more than the average human being

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what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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