I like trees. Trees hate you. Bye.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

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What do you call a child that has been stabbed? A dead child

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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Roses are yellow Daisies are purple Tv drinks yes Why swing the door

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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When my brother was hanging at YOUR cross, he asked "daddy" "Oh father why!" Then lightning struck and the weather went to fuck. Moral: WHAT KIND OF RESPONSE IS THAT YOU PIECE OF SHIT!?

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Knock knock Who's there Done Done who? Done with waiting out here, let me in you dick!

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What's weirder than an asian? His dinner

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What color do you get when you mix aquamarine with magenta? Transvestite.

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Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

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What's green and doesn't fly? A broken green helicopter.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you need a poo.... ...hold it in.

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I will slam your FACE into the BOOK if you don't stay out of MY SPACE

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Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

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What is terrible and doesn't exist? This joke's punchline,

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We are unhappy, unfilled because we cannot complete our dream, it is always about us, then again, is wanting the best for others being selfish?

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

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Communism hehe xd

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An orphan falls off a cliff.

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

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How do you fit 76 babies in a bath tub... With a blender. How do you get them back out? With tortilla chips.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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