What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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Why was the new born on the orphanage's doorstep? He was an accident.

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What do you get when you cross a Chinese man with a dog? A happy Chinese man and a pile of dog bones.

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I hate Mondays, the man said as he drove to work. Fortunately for him, it was a Wednesday.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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Why did the pedophile skip breakfast? He said that he would grab a little something on the way to work...

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? "How much?! No thanks, I think I'll shop around."

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What/s funnier than 24 dead Jews? 25 dead Jews. What/s funnier than 25 dead Jews? 6 million dead Jews. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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A: How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Q: None! They shouldn't have to...

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no.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

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I have 20 dollars and 27 cents. How much money do I have? 20.28$ I found a penny.

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I like Pi. It can make circles.

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A man walks into a bar an orders a few pints. He then goes home and brutally rapes his wife and chains his staring kids to a fencepost in the backyard along with their deceased dog named Spot.

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Why did the chcicken cross the road? To get to the other side nl

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how do you get a nun pregnant? have unprotected SEX with her, resulting in expulsion from her convent

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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Sarah Palin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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