Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

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Whats worse than getting in an arrow in the side of your neck Finding out there is a gas bill tied to it

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What do you call a muslim flying an airplane? A pilot.

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A blonde girl walks into a car.

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Knock knock Who the fuck says knock knock?

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? Glasses

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What are 3 skills black people have that they use for basketball? Great hand eye co-ordination, communication and encouragement.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The 13 year old tied up in my basement.

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What do you call someone who doesn't have a soul? A ginger

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Excuse me, I have a shitload of stuff to do, so you are Eliza huh? I thought that was just one person conveying something to someone. Anyway, what is your name? My name is actually Nero, but you do not strike me as an Eliza, first name is more than enough. You know, if you dare, Ill be back shortly, I was gonna shower but then again, I haven't moved at all today, so yeah. Saved you? I have never saved anyone well, excuse me then, see you around, worry less about people bothering with us chatting, hell they might risk learning something (not a chance, people here are fucking jackasses, with one exception, and I do not mean me this time).

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What did the computer say to the mouse? Nothing inanimate objects cant talk

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Why did the man eat a human heart? Because he was part of a dangerous, religious cult.

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What has eyes but can not see, and rolls everywhere it goes? A man who fought for your freedom and lost both his eyesight and legs in doing so. Have some respect.

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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What is the difference between a refrigerator? Seven anchors because blue isn't vital for turtles to fornicate.

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Proof that the Chicken came first than the Egg is all in the good book. It's called, The Dictionary!

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What did the Jewish man say to the Shia faction Muslim man? Even though we have different views on god and religion I value your friendship more than my religous views.

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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Why did the little girl run to her mother? Because she saw a police inspector, who had already tried to kill her several times that week, aiming a poison dart at her forehead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

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eoin burgin is fat

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What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

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Yo mama so fat, she gonna die soon.

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Niall Horan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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