Whats the difference between a rake and a sack of dead babys? i dont have a rake in my garage.

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what do you call a room with no people in it? empty What do you call a room with over 9000 people in it? a fire hazard

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Everything makes me look good, Rape doesn't look good on anyone, and it hurts everyone involved

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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Did you hear the one about the girl who had three nipples? Neither did I.

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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What did the dead guy say to the other guy? "You murdered me." How did he hear the dead guy? He was dead too.

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What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at him.

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Q: what did the poor, blind, deaf, orphan girl get for Christmas? A: cancer.

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What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

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Two Iranian men walk into a bar and order a Coke and a Lemonade. The Barman said take a seat and he'll bring them over.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

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All your facts check out, so I sent a little search team to find someone selling us out, it turns that they are after the leader of "The order" and "The king`s throne", so unless you got some small sub-department going on, point zero is in danger, ill explain everything once this is over.

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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WHY ARE WOMEN SO HARD TO SLEEP WITH? Because the men are always hard while sleeping with them

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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This week only, 2 for 1 misdemeanor shop lifting arrest. How can I do it? Because I can.

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Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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