What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

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You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

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Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

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-Doctor! Scientists in California have enough proofs to demonstrate that the Christian religion is false. -Oh my God!

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yo mamma so fat she should probably look into a clinical weight loss program and exercise daily.

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A man walks into a bar. Ow

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A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

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What do u call a six year old boy holding a gun. illegal

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A man walked into a bar with his parrot, a guy says 'That's a nice pet where did you get it?' 'From africa' The parrot said.

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Haiku's aren't real poems. No body understands them. My soul is burned toast.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

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went to mass. remembered to say with your spirit.

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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A seal walks into a club.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

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why did you poop because you are a poop

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whats the best joke ever? womens rights

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What do you do if you walk in on your wife atempting to hang herself in the living room? Ask her to leave the living room, as it would be ironic.

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How does Helen Keller do her taxes? Unfortunately, she doesn't. Most of her friends have encouraged her to contact the IRS about this to see if she can start a repayment plan for her back-taxes or obtain some sort of federal assistance. Otherwise, Ms. Keller is likely to suffer serious legal consequences.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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Why are hurricanes named after women? They're wet and wild when they come and take your car and house when they leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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