your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

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Justin's life

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why did the man jump out of the plane without a parachute? Im not really sure, maybe to commit a slow and painful suicide.

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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An epileptic man attends a rave.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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Why did the little boy lose his fingers? He was left unattended with a chain saw.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c it was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out if the tree? A: b/c it was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c he thought it was a game. Q: Why did the toaster fall out of the tree? A: The branch snapped. Q: Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? A: She was hit by three monkeys and a toaster :( MAB99

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Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

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There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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Mike and Richard were walking down the street together Richard left because of Mike's garlic breath

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

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what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

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How many fish does it take to brush their teeth? Jp's worth of fish isn't enough.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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