when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

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How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Sandwich.

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Three bitches walk into a bar, and die

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rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

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What is worse than catching someone trying to cheat by looking at your exam? Getting struck by lightning.

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call me maybe.

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there are seven of us," reply the babies, "now get us a round of bloody marys

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Q. Why was the black man sad? A. He had a book nailed into is leg.

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YODO (unless you're religious background encourage you to believe in an afterlife of some sort, be it of animalia or homo sapien decent.

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What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

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What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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what did the bus driver say to the black man when he got on the bus? nothing, carl has become very anti-social since his brother died

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roses are red viloites are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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Why did the black man get drenched by a fire hose because he was on fire

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What do you call a black man playing a bass guitar? A bassist.

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Q: knok knok A: Im home

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A man once had a monkey, and it made him very happy. then one day, his monkey ran away. So the man was very sad and screamed, "I knew i should have broken the monkey's legs!!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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