Instructions to make origami. 1.) Staple bagels to face 2.) Ask someone else to do it. 3.) Hang yourself because you are too stupid to figure it out yourself

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Why wad six afraid of seven? Because seven was a sexual offender.

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What did the first ant say to the second ant? Nothing. Ants are incapable of communicating via speech.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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You know how hitler wasn't accepted into the art school ? The teacher who didn't let him join was Jewish .

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What' worse than random Holocaust jokes? The Holocaust

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How meny Jews can you fit in an ash-tray? None. There to big

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's orange and sticky? An orange. What's red and sticky? My stool - is that normal?

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what do you call a kid with no legs and no arms some one who will nevaer forfill there bucket list cause they cant write it

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Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

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whats white and sticky glue

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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you know whats worse than cantaloupe? no cantaloupe

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Why is Wednesday a bad day? Because at some point, Monday will come around again.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house... Knock, knock Who's there? The chicken.

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Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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How many feet are in a yard? It depends how many people are in the yard.

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What is big, hard, and bushy? My Penis. I lied about it being bushy.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Uh... No? Listen, the other 2 people that bother using this "site" (excuse for one) would not give a damn, and if some world government are after us they wont find shit. What? If I said no you would hack this site? My mother can hack this site, thats what makes it so useful for us... SO PLEASE DO NOT TELL EEEEEEEEEVERYONE THAT MY MORALS AND SHIT ARE ALL CODES THAT NOBODY HAS THE BRAIN TO DECODE PLEASE <<<<<<<<< *Sarcasm detector goes off* Seriously though, nah, dont hack nor delete anything, I kinda like how I got some thumbs ups on the comment section where I shared about my mother finally dying and me feeling the world against me great etc blahblah, "Erica" and "Wizard" thumbed those up and are now with us (seriously Wizard? Geek somebody?)

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Wife, "Wake up... i think there's someone in the house, do something... go downstairs and have a look!" Husband, "Do it yourself." Wife, "You what? You can't expect a woman to fight off an intruder..." Husband, "You women wanted equal rights so here you go, do it yourself."

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Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

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What did a Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know, I don't speak Chinese.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops