What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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penis. nuff said.

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John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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Cigarettes are a lot like hamsters. Perfectly harmless until you put them in your mouth and catch them on fire.

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Kevin and Ramin

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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Q: Why was the man wet? A: I push him in a pool.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your friend, George. Oh hi George, I'll be there in a sec.

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Why did Madona rub shit on her vagina? Because she was horny.

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Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

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What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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guest who else is a ugly bitch my mom

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm Animals

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so a unicorn walks into a bar... and then i woke up

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What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

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OMG FUCKING NERDS WITH NO LIFE CAN READ ABOUT THE POWER OF YOUR Vaginal puss puss color, no but seriously, I kinda prefer unshaven, I mean if I change my opinion I just do it myself or command that you shave yourself while I put it on my cellphone while I jack off to you, making a creampie, yeah because.

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How many Russians can you fit in a Mini Cooper? It depends on how big they are.

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What is older than history?

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What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

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Q: What say one therapist to a friend? A: I'm the rapist

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Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

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I once was an adventurer like you. But then I quit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops