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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

There are three guys on an airplane, a Korean, a Mexican, and an American. The pilot comes on the speaker and syays,"The plane is to heavy, throw out the thing you have most in your country." The Korean throws out an AK-47 and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The Mexican throws out a taco and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The American throws out the Mexican and says,"We have to many of these in our country."

I saw Scarface uncut last weekend. It was called Face

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

What did the man do when he crossed the road? Nothing he got hit by a car

why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

What did the old man say to the young man? Nothing, the old man was dead.

When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?white vans

If a man and a woman get married in Texas and move to Washington are they still brother and sister?

Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8-9-10.

What do you call a Muslim guy on a plane? A passenger.

yo momma so fat, Bob's furniture store is having a sale on wednesday at 5:00.

One night a man layed on his bed and looked into the skies, then he realizes: WHERE THE HELL IS MY CEILING!?!?!

Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

what do you call your mama at the gas station

Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

Richard Gere has a girlfriend called Goldie

The Yak, a long-coated bovine found in the Himalayas, is named for its distinct call, which sounds similar to "yak-yak-yakyak".

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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