How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Getting voted down to page 4067

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why are anti jokes so funny? cuz u pobably just laughed at this one.

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Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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Alchohol.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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I like my coffee the way I like Christina Aguilera - I don't.

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A strange man knocks at the door He's your son

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HOREY SHIT!! OMFG!! I win? Yeah I think so.. Wait. Why am I talking to myself.. Aww not again.. My doctor warned me about this.. D:

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

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What did thirty starving Jews fight for on the train ride to Birkenau? A crumb. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Neither does the chicken. (you're supposed to laugh...)

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whats white and black, and red all over, kiren poping jacob cherry

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You die of loss of blood, under a pile of first-aid kits

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what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

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What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern p.o.r.n-o collections.

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What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

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#Getweird

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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