A mexican, an Aisian, and a black guy are fighting in a dumpster. Who wins? The Mexican, why? Home court advantage!

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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scenario: two teddy bears wrestling under water question: how many apples does it take to tussel with a potato answer: 96 becouse pillows dont eat chease

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Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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Q: What's worse than biting into and apple and finding a worm? A: being severely malnourished, thus physically inept to do most simple tasks

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Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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i went to the bar. soon after i entered the bar i got kicked out. why? becuase i'm seventeen.

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

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Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

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What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

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Q.what do you call a dead baby? A. a dead baby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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