why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent

Why did the garbage man cross the road? He was doing his job.

What is the difference between a pile of baby's and a new jeep? I don't have a brand new jeep in my garage.

- Why an Asian crossed the road? - Because he wanted to.

Why did the man get in a car accident? Because he was blind.

how do you make a baby float? you take your foot off its head

Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he wants to drink. He orders a beer.

Why did the nervous man jump out of a plane? He was sky diving.

Paper or plastic? Yes...

Why did Sam have no friends? He was dead.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

what do you call white people running down a mountain? Avalanche What do you call black people running down a mountain? Jailbreak

What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? That feels quite good.

Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

what is the difference between two trees? it doesn't matter because motorcycles don't have doors

Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

Why was Junior sad? His parents were killed in a car crash.

Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

There once was a man from Dundee, Whose Limericks ended on line three. I don't know why.

A man walks in the a bar Now he has 3 missing teeth

What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

Oh and Nero, what are you suffering from? Is it dangerous? Are you dying or something? Please dont scare me like that again.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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