I got drunk last night and woke up in a bed and that's when I saw it. A 400 pound woman was in front of me and I could see the sweat drip down her ass fat and she let out a putrid fart right in my face. It smelt like rotten eggs and cheesy cauliflower. I am horrified.

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Indians

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What do you call a man with an eight foot steel spike wedged in his rectum? An Ambulance

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whats the difference between a black rapist and a white rapist? the black rapist is black

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A white man walked into a bar, and an indian walked into a totem pole...

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I have a great knock knock joke. You start. Go.

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What did the Watermelon say to its baby? I'll SEED you later!

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What did the Christian say to the Muslim. Nothing. He understood his right to have a opinion even if his religion is against it.

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good looking women

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Who enjoys hearty wank sessions with friends and long walks on the beach? David Cameron.

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What has feet, but no legs? An alien.

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

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What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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A man walks into a bar and wakes up in the hospital with a mild concussion.

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Why are you a chicken? Because I say cock-a-doodle doo

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after anal

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An old man walks into a bar. It was, a metal cylinder, not unlike a short carbon rod, and not the drinking establishment he normally frequents, named O'Malley's Pub and Eatery, which was, in fact, next to the the building with the protruding metal bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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What do you get when you skin a potato? A screaming kid with autism and no skin.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a good, New England family man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops