Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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Q: How do mentally retarted people read books A: They dont

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9/11

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A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

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Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

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what's worse than finding a truck full of dead babys taking them out with a pitchfork

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Your name is Fired, your Boss comes up to you and says "Your Fired" You say "I know my name." Your boss gets mad and throws you in a chimney

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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What's black on top and white on the bottom? Half an oreo

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what did the women say when she saw a tiger maul a rabbit? she didn't see it, she was in the kitchen cooking and ironing

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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Justin Bieber.

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Up High. *high fives* In The Middle *high fives* Down Low *high fives* In the Grass *high fives* You've been diagnosed with prostate cancer.

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Q: Why is Abu Soooo Dank? A: Because he scores too many left-foot bangers

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What's worse than eating poop for your whole life? Nothing really, you've got serious problems if you have another option...

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some dude: weed is bad Other dude: then why do they prescribe it to people are you dumb or are you stupid

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari. There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

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How do you get a black kid to sleep? A cup of warm milk and maybe a lulluby should do it.

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how many dicks can you fit into mia khalifa's ass

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I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

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The indistinguishable bug corrupts a bond arrow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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