Help me I need to know how to cook a human fetus by tomorrow does anyone know any good recipes?

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How many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. It really isn't that hard.

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What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

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The worst part of waking up, Is no Folgers in your cup.

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Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

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What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

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You dork, seriously, the comment where I mentioned that I am married is like 60000 comments PAGES behind. What? Now you ashamed of losing your, I mean I can say that I am your first right? That I am going to stick my MANFLESH into your CHERRY AND POP IT RIGHT? JUST TRYING TO BE SUBTLE HERE! Seriously though, Your name is really Tifa? And you look a FUCKING HELL A LOT Like Tifa From Final Fantasy... You know, except she has gigantic feet and no lips and you know...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. 97

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Whoop-dee-do.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Cause KFC was chasing him.

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

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Why should you be concerned if you see a black midget with no arms and no legs falling off a building? He might get hurt.

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Buy a SHOTGUN!!!!

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I am quite mature.

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Why was the chinese man kicked out of the bar? Because he was under aged

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't know how to rhyme Refrigerator ------------

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Q:What is the difference between a Blonde and a Ginger? A: Hair Color

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How do you know when everybody on a plane crash is dead ? When your the only one who walked out

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Where did little susie go during the explosion? Everywhere :) What color were her eyes? Blue. One blew this way and one blew the other way. :p Knock, knock Who's there? Not susie :)

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Menstrual jokes aren't funny. Period. Neither are 9/11 jokes. Just plane wrong Same with cripple jokes. Can't stand them I don't see why Helen Keller jokes are funny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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