Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

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Your Mama is so old, that she is probrably going to die pretty soon.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

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What is the biggest lie ever? "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Use"

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Verbal assault; because battering someone to death with a dictionary has never been so much fun. [L]

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Indiana Jones was riding on it to Pankot Palace

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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Q. How can you tell if a snake bites? A. It depends on if he walks to school or carries his lunch.

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I have Alsheimers... Cheese on Toast

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what happened to the retarded dyslexic? he retard on his 60th birthday and took up gardening.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What's the difference between 2 pieces of meat? Nothing

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Have you see stevie wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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How do you catch a predator? You throw a beartrap at a child.

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Yo momma so normal, she got married, had three kids and then lived a dull but contented life.

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your best friend. No it's not, you stupid repo man...I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops