A deaf man sits down puts on his headphones presses play on his ipod starts to nod his head and realises what he has just done

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What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

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How do you call a hispanic man crossing the border? First you must find out his phone number, then using a different phone make a phone call to him.

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what did Tim do when he got married? He kissed the bride Mecheoo LOVES ASS

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what do you call a bomb in a plane? A dangerous threat to lives

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What happens when you get your leg caught in an elevator door? Nothing. It is likely that the elevator has advanced sensory components that won't allow the door to close on your leg.

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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A man drives home from a bar one night, He is under the influence and his reckless driving will costs many innocent people their lives.

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What do you call a black person pimping out his bitches? a dog breeder.

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why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Just kidding, it's Danny. Oh okay, come in.

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If a tree falls in the forrest and a women hears it does it make a sound? Why is there a tree in the kitchen.

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Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them

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i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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A rabbi and a nun walk into a bar. They grab a drink and really hit it off despite their differences. After a couple years of happy dating, the rabbi, Mark, preposes. Gloria, the nun, gladly accepts. After four months, Gloria is pregnant. She dies in childbirth. The child has many illneses and dies within a week. Mark commits suicide.

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What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

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I used to have an ugly,black and disabled man as a friend. However, he had a very nasty personality so we are no longer friends.

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What is the Question to Life, the Universe, and Everything? 43 - 1 = ?

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What's worse than getting pulled over by the police? getting pulled over and getting a bloody tampon stuck to your forehead.

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Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

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I'm Batman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops