What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What's worse? Inhaling fly spray or deodorant? A: The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An old asian woman is driving down the freeway a drunk driver merges into her lane. Everyone is ok because she keeps a safe distance behind.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Why did the guy fall off his bike? A: He got shot!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Nickelback

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Did you hear the one about the deaf guy and the rhinoceros? Neither did he.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock Who's There Al Qaeda

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I'm going to Re-write History... History

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Seriosly. too much sex again?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What Did The Farmer Say When He Lost His Tractor.... "Wheres My Tractor"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If I am from Texas, where are you from? You know the answer? HOLY SH*T! YOU ARE A GENIUS!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why wouldn't Leena sleep with Ole? Because she thought him to be a dumb, ugly, Scandinavian.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. I don't know, why? A. I asked first.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How did the black guy swim across the Atlantic? He didn't. He was prepared to, but then went on Expedia and found a ticket with Continental Airlines that was in his budget. He did not like the amount of service he recieved, and decided in the future he will save up and fly with a different company, or in fact swim across.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happened when the black woman moved to the front of the bus? There were no seats available but everyone was very nice about it. She also asked for gum. Somebody did have gum. Which was nice.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why are the black people in Africa dying? Because the poverty rate is high and they don't have enough money to by simple things like medicine and mosquito nets to prevent AIDS, Malaria, and other infectious diseases.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops