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Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

Sir, your wife is dead

Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

Knock Knock. Whose there? Fed-Ex, here's your new brother.

Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

united we sit, cause we're fat

Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A. Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

Why is the earth round? Because God saw it was flat and thought "too flat lets turn it around" And all was good.

why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

What did Hitler say to Mussolini? I don't know. I wasn't there.

The duck didn't cross the road.

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black —Stevie Wonder

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

Two peanuts walked into a bar one was as'salted'

Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

What did the penguin say to the peacock? Die, you homosexual!

Why did the boy wipeout on his bike? An old man threw a snake in front of his tire

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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