Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

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Hey, guess what. What? ... Hello? Sorry, I don't talk to strangers.

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What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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Tilt your screen back

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Why did the chicken cros- oh he got hit by a car.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

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Why did the man fall over? He was blind.

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What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

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why was the black guy that was smoking weed in his car not sent to jail? when the cop pulled him over he thought he was black the way he was dancing but turned out to be white but that just looked black when hes dancing.

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What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

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Why did Rachel fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Rachel.

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Who is the greatest cook ever? Adolof Hitler

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Face...the other white meat!

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

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A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

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Waseem is a hard worker.

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A Jew walks into a bar, he buys it.

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Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

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Yo' mamma's so poor she's homeless and dying of starvation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops