What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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Why did the chair break? The person that sat in it was over weight

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roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

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A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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Whats black and hanging from a tree in my backyard? A tire swing

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was an escaped mental paitent

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Rosie are red velvet blue I made eggs just for you

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A man walks in to a bar, what does he say? Ouch.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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Yo mama's so fat, she weighs over 400 pounds.

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Whats grosser then gross? A dead puppy in a barrel. Whats grosser the a dead puppy in a barrel? A dead puppy in two barrels. Created by : go josh or ty :D

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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