A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

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I told my friend one of these anti-jokes, he took it seriously and beat my head with a bat.

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Why does the chicken cross the road? 4

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A boy walks home from school. On his way home some bullies stole his kite. When the boy got home he was greeted by a police officer that told him that his parents had been killed. The boy started crying and the Police officer said " whats wrong?". The boy replied " some bullies stole my kite".

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A black person dies.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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what do you call a man who likes other men? A fag

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How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

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Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black —Stevie Wonder

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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nobody move! I've dropped my brain.

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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The duck didn't cross the road.

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guest who else is a ugly bitch my mom

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Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A. Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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Sir, your wife is dead

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"To tea to to to" -- russian tourist, asking for two tea to room 22. (DOKA)

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What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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Why is the earth round? Because God saw it was flat and thought "too flat lets turn it around" And all was good.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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