Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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Why didn't Jacob marry Bella from Twilight? You have to be real to marry someone

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What did the black man eat at a picnic? I don't know, I wasn't there.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

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What do you call a black man in church? Religious

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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What's the difference between communism and race mixing? Zey come for our blood, but drown in zeir ovn!!!!!

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What's funnier than 24? Many things, the number 24 is not very humorous.

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Why did the Triceratops walk into a grocery store? To buy groceries

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When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

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why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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once you go Persian, there is no other alternative

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What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

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The doctor said to the boy that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. He is diabetic.

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Your adopted

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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What is Corey Jacobs favorite kind of sandwich? Big Jumbo Kahona Burger!

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My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops