Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Drew Knowles is gay

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mamma's so dumb, she's had problems functioning in society, due to illiteracy problems, and a general incomprehension of her surroundings and own thoughts.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo mamma so fat when I searched her on the internet, I got 28,000,000 results

thumb_up thumb_down +8

who has moral fiber? a cerial killer

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's black, white and red all over? A nun that fell down a flight of stairs

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What was so funny about my sister getting raped? Nothing, there's never anything funny about someone getting raped, especially when it is a close friend or family member

thumb_up thumb_down +8

So this guy filled with blood, right? This caused his veins to protrude and him to bleed strongly when he cut his wrists with razors later that night- because of his struggle with depression and substance abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's white and is your slave? Your computer.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A: Knock Knock B: Who's There? Person B came down with a serious case of amnesia that day and can't remember who anyone is.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas. A new vest and a puppy because his father got a promotion and a much higher pay raise.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops