Chuck Norris once jumped off of a 9 story building. He broke half of the bones in his body because he is 71 years old.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because i shot him. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? he was in front of the monkey

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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every knight i see an owl at window

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what did the mexican do yesterday? bang your mom

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why was the kid crying his dad is a alchoholic

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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Sarah lost both arms in a car accident Knock knock Who's there? Not sarah. Roses are red Violets are blue Wow. Clever Knock knock Who's there? Still not Sarah, as she is in a serious condition at her local hospital, and so is fighting for her life.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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Two men walk into a bar, get drunk, and drive home. Unfortunately, they crash into a tree and are mortally wounded.

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Why was the ghast from minecraft crying? His family died

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Q: How many chicken nuggets can fit into an olympic size swimming pool? A: 8,563,690,152... Corndogs

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What has 2 legs and smells like fish A fish with 2 legs

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Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

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3 Men walk into a bar, they all order up a drink. And then they paid their tabs and left.

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what happens when y tell ur deff brother uve been sleeping with his wife..nothing

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So a woman walks out of a kitchen, she is instantly mauled by a bear.

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Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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A black man and a hispanic man are in a car. Who is driving? The guy who didn't call shotgun.

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Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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